What is
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I developed "Tame the Pain (TTP)" classes as a way for those whose life is being impacted by chronic disease to learn and become educated with a "self help" teaching style. It is about teaching the "Pain Cycle" materials from the book, "Journey through Pain, the Walk for Healing."
Tame The Pain is based on the different groups of professionals I met along the Walk running different programs to help pain patients. I have mixed the styles along with what I had at MassGeneral Hospital in Boston. To me, these were the best because you could learn at your own rate, keep all the materials and be a part of the program until you feel like leaving. Somewere there for over 2 years! It is a great way to learn for many reasons. It provides a personal teaching style without my physically having to be there. It teaches as you learn, at your pace. It is instructional. It is an autonomous group, run by the patients, eventually, so each group can arrive at its own way of teaching each other, based on the people in the group. |
The patients can control the methods and the size of the group. They can democratically setup the times and places of meetings. it can be started online at first and gradually switch to physical meeting. Believe it or not, the best ones, the most successful by far, were the "boot camp" style groups. In TTP it would be up to the individual to "boot camp" themselves. When you sign on to do this, it only works if you actually do it.
I personally liked the classroom group style especially when a group contributes to the learning. I was so fortunate to get to see a lot of things happening in the pain world, both good and bad. We all know the bad, now it's time to do the good. I saw groups in St. Louis, based at a hospital pain clinic, that had been together for 3 years and they were helping the new groups get going. I was there when they were having a whole member meeting, 3 or 4 groups, from brand new, to 3 years old. I saw the camaraderie and the support that goes with being in a group of like minded people for a long time. It was truly beautiful to see. If you are interested in starting a group, please contact me and I will help you get started. I recommend this to everyone. Allow us at TTP to help form your group to make it more official. Thanks for reading this and for being a part of "Tame the Pain" and for being a part of the solution. |
"If there’s something you can’t do, don’t do it. If there’s something you’re doing that will cause damage, don’t do it. Don’t forget to relax more on your good days, and do just a little more than you think you can on your bad days. Always try to even out your curves.” Do what you can when you can. “If you do this, then yes, it should be okay.” -words from my visiting physical therapist just before the 1st Walk.
“Take Your Walk”
from the book,
"Journey Through Pain: the Walk for Healing"
On May 5th, 2005, (05-05-05), Dennis Kinch set off on a Journey, walking from Boston to Washington, DC. He then decided to walk further, tackling Route 66 from Chicago to LA, to tell anyone he could about the newfound knowledge of “The Pain Cycle.”
The Pain Cycle and its subsequent teaching courses provide information to those suffering so they may become engaged and empowered. It is gathered from personal visits with thousands of professionals and patients, all of whom are stuck in the Pain Cycle.
Dennis Kinch believes there is a way out of the suffering. It may not be a 3,000-mile walk for everyone. Yet for a man who should not be walking at all, he found a way out of the Pain Cycle … and he is here to help you.
From the book...”Journey through Pain...The Walk for Healing”
Welcome to The Pain Cycle. Your journey has begun. Here you will learn the phases you must conquer in order to “swing the curve.” If you find yourself still questioning or unsure of the journey, reread what you don't understand. Make sure your mind is open to possibility. Thinking negatively, even in a subtle way, can hinder your progress. However, my guess is you want out of this crazy cycle, out of the pain paradigm. You’ll get there.
Chronic pain is pain that lasts over three months and is expected to be permanent. This, whether diagnosed or not, causes us to fall into an uncontrolled movement that begins a series of losses, eventually including the loss of self worth and even identity. Through a positive “can-do” attitude, and with the help of trained, understanding professionals, you can find the positive, reinvention side of the cycle. Thus you begin your journey out of the controlling effects of chronic pain.
It is important to remember that most likely the pain is not going away. Yet it can be tamed, as long as you have the attitude of wanting badly to control the pain, and the willingness to take on the journey through pain. This is something only you can do. “Swinging the curve” is your part of the journey. There are many people waiting to help you, but they can only help you after you have fully committed yourself to this journey. You must believe in your own power and work toward reinventing yourself to move past this life-altering interruption in your life. It’s wanting to be happy and productive again, the longing to find the true spirit of who you used to be. All of this awaits you if you have the courage to take the journey.
I pulled a wheelbarrow over 3,000 miles to prove to you, but mostly to myself, that this works. It took a lot of time for me to evolve. Part of reinvention is adapting, which is an important survival technique. I worked closely with my doctors and therapists to learn to walk correctly, to learn not to hurt myself, to learn to “do what I can, when I can.”
My goal in these walks was to become my physical therapy. It was to adopt therapy into my lifestyle: to believe in my own ability and the power to “do it right.” My goal was to do what I could when I could. I walked across America in nine months wanting to end this trek in better condition than when I started, all while dealing with constant and sometimes disabling pain.
I am not proposing that everybody start walking thousands of miles. In fact, I suggest quite the opposite. Instead, I propose that you learn to adapt to your pain, to reinvent yourself around it and find your spirit again. Once you see the positive side of the cycle, it will be up to you, and you alone, to decide what “taking a walk” means. Patients who have been successful at this now perform a variety of tasks. They are achieving lofty goals such as starting businesses, becoming volunteers and organizing support groups and patient-taught classes at local pain clinics.
I cannot say what your “walk” will be – I only hope with the help of this information as well as with education, you will be energized and inspired to begin your journey to find yourself again. My wish is for each of you to find your spirit and be happy. If you are going to put pain in its place, in the background, you need to stand up to the anguish and take your place in this world. You need to learn to enjoy life again...despite the pain.
The more goals you reach, the more powerful you will feel. I validate your pain, and so does the pain community and others. Do not dwell on trying to prove yourself to anyone; free yourself of that heavy burden. Hopefully, by reading just this much, you are seeing you can let go of some of heartache. This alone has the ability to bring back part of your old spirit. Doesn't it feel good to be back in touch with your old self, like seeing a childhood friend you haven’t seen in a long time? This is freedom. You now can see the power of belief and how it impacts you.
To repeat myself, when I say, “Take your walk,” I do not mean you must walk thousands of miles. It means you must find what works for you that makes you feel happy and whole. For me, walking was good because it made me feel better. It gave me freedom and a sense of control over my life. It allowed me to meet people, to help people and to understand myself. It allowed me to test my therapies and my resolve.
As it turned out, the walk only changed me … and that is okay. Those who didn't believe my pain or me beforehand still don’t believe. There are still no medical issues solved, and I kept being denied Social Security. It took thirteen years and over ten refusals before I finally was able to obtain Social Security. The cynics will always be cynical, the doubters will doubt, the nonbelievers cannot believe. Negative begets negative.
With all of this said, those who understood me, understand me even more now. Those who love me are very proud of me, and our love has grown stronger.
The Walk was the most unbelievable experience. I still sometimes cannot believe I walked over 3,000 miles. I did it! I set mind to something, I said yes and I did it. After crossing the desert in July of 2006, I finished my nine-month ordeal. Not once did I have a cold or flu. I had no blisters and walked only in $10 Wal-Mart sneakers. There were no muggings or car accidents. I did not encounter any snakes or angry dogs. I did not get bit or stung by animals or insects. While there were a handful of severe weather stories, there was not one major snowstorm. Out of the thousands of people I encountered, I only met amazing, supportive individuals. I truly am better than I have been in my life, and yet, my pain and condition have not changed. I beat the power and illusion of pain!
The idea of “the Walk” originated when I began working with a new physical therapist. I initially started walking to test the theories of nerve and muscle stretching and strengthening. Basically, I wanted to see if physical therapy worked. Could I take this new found therapy of walking and make it a part of my lifestyle?
I began being able to walk less than a mile but slowly built myself up to walking over seven miles a day. It was always in circles around Boston and my neighborhood on the edge of Massachusetts, near Providence, Rhode Island. I noticed that as I came near my seven-mile completion each day there was this feeling of sadness and disappointment. I felt so good yet I was ending my walk for the day. I just wanted to keep going.
Then one night as I approached my house, I decided to just keep going. I walked until 2 AM logging just over 15 miles! I was tired but still felt good. That is, until I stopped. Like a slingshot, the pain would return, intensified by the exercise. However, I felt better knowing I did it, and knowing I could do it again the next day.
My original plan for my “big walk” was to go from Boston to Colorado so I could be with my children in the summer. But I had a setback in February of that year and had to rebuild my walking ability. This time I knew how to quickly build myself up. I also had a change of heart in where I wanted to walk. Now it was Boston to Washington, D.C.
At that time in my life, I was very angry about the situation I was in. And I kept meeting people all the time who had stories of tragedy due to pain that were far worse than mine. I wanted to bring attention to their plight. I thought Washington, D.C., was within a reasonable distance to perform a big walk, while still within safe limits, so that if anything went wrong someone could come and get me.
You see how this works.
You have something you know you can do, and you take it to a far degree in your mind – as a dream or idea, even if it seems unreachable. You then back step the goal, finding small steps that are attainable.
In my case, I had to learn a lot about walking. When I first mentioned to my therapist that I was thinking of walking 400 miles to Washington, D.C., she reacted like most people, “Are you out of your mind?” Then I told her I was working with her theory. She always explained to me that if something is non-damaging pain, if I learned to do things the right way, if I took my time and did what I could when I could, I should be physically fine.
She had to agree that I was following her philosophy, but was adamant: “You take care of yourself. If there’s something you can’t do, don’t do it. If there’s something you’re doing that will cause damage, don’t do it. Don’t forget to relax more on your good days, and do just a little more than you think you can on your bad days. Always try to even out your curves.” Do what you can when you can. “If you do this, then yes, it should be okay.”
Once I had her and my doctor’s blessings, the dream seemed possible.
This is how to “take your walk”:
I can’t say what your “walk” will be. For me, it was something I was good at and was good for me. It seemed natural and necessary. It seemed like the way to combine everything I was learning, everything I needed to do as an effort to bring this to a higher level.
Once you learn to surrender, forgive and believe in yourself, you’re ready to tie it all together for a purpose. Take whatever it is that you’re good at, and “dream it” to a far extent. By now, you’ve learned to stay positive, to stop saying no, to believe in yourself and an idea that matters to you. For me, chronic pain was an issue near and dear to my heart, so it seemed fitting to go for that purpose. It fit like a glove.
People tend to perceive the walk as a lump sum. Seeing only the end result, they say, “That’s impossible.” They don’t take into account the physical and mental training it took to reach this goal. Nor do they understand that I spent five years in the negative side of the pain cycle before finding my way through the pain to the positive. My illnesses have not changed; my pain and physical limits are exactly the same.
I took the steps you will soon read about and applied them to my life. Yet each step had to be seasoned with a new attitude. It started with me resigning to surrender. I finally said, “I’m sick and tired of being like this and I will no longer accept it. I want to be my old self. I do not want others constantly telling me what to do. I’m tired of being the victim. I need to change.”
Let me be clear. This is not the attitude that it took to conquer pain, but it was the attitude I needed to begin the journey. My attitude had to adapt and change with each of the different phases I entered and went through. For forgiveness, my attitude shifted to, “Nobody knows what I’m going through, but I do. It’s okay that they don’t, and I can always explain it to them later. Right now, I have a journey to go through, and if I have to, I’ll do it alone.”
The attitude it took for belief was two-fold.
The attitude for the rest of the journey was simple. All I kept saying to myself was, “Watch this!” By then, I was beginning to own my power, so my small seven-mile walks were feeling monotonous. I needed a grander challenge.
Preparing and tackling “the Walk” presented me with the same thing to overcome. I had my large-scale goal that I agreed upon due to changing my attitude. I set small attainable goals that I achieved by changing my attitude. I faced challenges reaching those goals that tested my attitude. I endured other hurdles and barriers that pushed me to work on my attitude even more.
I know a lot of people who don’t understand pain say to change your attitude to make it better. You probably have heard others say things like, “they just have a bad attitude.” Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not that simple. What I want you to understand is that moving forward with “your walk” has a lot to do with attitude, but it’s not everything.
I had to work on the constant attitude adjustment. In order to “take your walk,” you must learn to constantly adapt. Adapt to the bad day and good day syndrome, adapt to your medications, adapt to doing what you can when you can: adapt to changes in your healing processes and your afflictions. This is survival, but it’s also survival with style.
Life is meant to be more than just existing. It should bring with it joy and accomplishment. If you have to blend accomplishment with severe pain and depression, you won’t accomplish much or be very happy. I would never recommend that you “take your walk” if you are not ready to do so. I’ve seen people who want so badly to be out of pain that they try to find the easy answer. They rush ahead of the program and skip steps only to find out later they slipped back into the negative: the defeated.
This can be devastating on many levels, especially because it takes so much inner strength to take a journey. If you fail, or if you fool yourself into thinking you’re ready, most likely you will become bitter and won’t try it again. Defeat can be paralyzing because it has the potential to conquer your belief system, spirit and your energy. The wind will be taken from your sails.
Before you decide to “take your walk,” before you decide to take on any major challenges and set very high goals, make sure that you’re ready. Make sure you’ve understood and completed each stage in the cycle. Ask yourself:
At that time, walking to Washington, D.C., was an extremely high goal for me. After all, it was 440 miles! As it turned out, thank God it was a practice run. I made a lot of mistakes yet learned many lessons from that walk that were extremely important for the second walk. In fact, it’s the very reason the second “walk” was accomplished at all, and with relative ease.
I had nothing invested during the first walk. Nobody was counting on me, so if I didn’t accomplish my goal I knew I could still go back and try again. However, on the second walk, it was completely different. The goal was much higher – walking the entire Route 66 – and so was the investment. There was a national organization involved, complete with a website, press attention, advertising and financial investments. It was a complete campaign. Many times I said to myself, “Thank God I did that first walk.”
I share this because I don’t want you to attempt your own “walk” until you really are ready. I want you to approach “taking your walk” slowly and cautiously. Just like the road, it can “do you in.”
Another thing you must consider in planning your “walk” is what suits your needs. Everyone has different afflictions, abilities, ups-and-downs and therapies that work with his or her lifestyle. In order to “take your walk,” you first must find what fits you. Then be supercharged! You must be at a point in your therapy where you’re in a position for a major challenge. Like I said before, it totally defeats the purpose to go into this and get hurt. I don’t want that for you and you don’t want that for yourself. This large goal must be the natural evolution of your therapy.
Hopefully, you practice living the “physical therapy lifestyle” for a while. You must be a master of your weapons of healing. You must be beyond validation and resignation. This endeavor could chew you up and spit you out. You must be a master of positivity – a believer of it. You must have practiced its power and have learned some control over creating a positive environment. You must have learned to ward off the negative influences that will test you. If you’ve truly reached this point of mastery, you already understand the “tests” involved. You know that anytime you make a positive change in your life’s course, you get tested.
You see, when I first set out on my trek to Washington, D.C., I was not as ready as I thought I was. I had the belief and the inspiration. However, the testing was only about to begin. I didn’t know that going into the walk. I was naïve.
I learned a lot on that 440-mile walk. By the end of it, I didn’t think I would be doing that again. I had accomplished a lot and met a lot of people, but as far as education and awareness of pain were concerned, which was my original purpose, I hadn’t accomplished anything. While elated that I finished, I was frustrated that I hadn’t made a difference. I didn’t finish what I had started; however, I was becoming very adept at some important, learned skills.
It is exactly what you’re saying about the Pain Cycle. It started with surrendering, then forgiving, and then belief just came over me. It was the belief that I could do it, that I could get past the pain.
I just could not believe I found validation from people I didn’t know and who didn’t know me! They understood and were on the same page as me. They were also “taking their walks” but in different ways. They were accomplishing dreams that, not too long before, had seemed unattainable. This was exactly what I had hoped for: the proof was in the pudding.
While taking your walk meant the same to them as it did to me, we had different agendas. This is not to say mine was better or theirs were better. We all were reaching for OUR dream. Each of us had learned the power it takes to set goals and attain them.
One young woman was going back to school after 11 years of fighting a major nerve disease. She was going to study pain medicine and get her doctorate. She beamed with joy, and freedom, no longer burdened with negativity. She had gained her power over pain! She was unstoppable.
Another had taken up a fine art craft that she hadn’t performed in many years. A craft she never thought she would be able to do again. That is before she learned to adapt to her disabilities. She told me the greatest thing she had learned however, was to believe in her power over pain. She was, and is, unstoppable. Today, she is holding fine-craft exhibits to sell her work and she gives the money to charity. Plus, she has become a major pain advocate in her hometown … another leader in the army of proper pain treatment advocates!
Another man I met, a major pain sufferer, and his wife – also a person with pain – began walking every day. They started with one block, then a quarter-mile, then a mile. And believe me, for this couple this was a miracle! Not only was it a triumph to walk with pain but they also faced terrible financial news. Yet learning the power of being positive, they approached their current situation the attitude of, “I know we lost a car but we are here and we know we can walk where we need to go.”
Instead of fighting about financial matters, they take many walks together, which has made them an even stronger couple. They feel a renewed sense of love and friendship. Together, they are unstoppable … and they also are an inspiration to me. Yes, God is truly magnificent!
Another man I met is the embodiment of adapting to a situation rather than falling into deep depression. After losing his legs to amputation and rehabilitating to his wheelchair, he became bored from monotony. He left his safe, secure Massachusetts existence and took his dog and some packs to traverse America in his wheelchair. His dream was to be with his dog on the road. He did this for himself – he had no support, no one to write about it and no one ever even knew about it. I was in awe of the amazing power he had of just wanting to get out of the vicious cycle of disability! He did what made him feel powerful and happy.
Now, the opposite side of that coin is the paraplegic gentleman I met who was paralyzed from the waist down, who talked to me about how his life was without merit. He told me how pain was overwhelming him, how he was worthless and insignificant and stuck in his wheelchair. It was affecting the man and his family terribly.
Yet as I talked to him more, I learned the man had accomplished some amazing things in his life. He was heavily involved in volunteer efforts that set up national wheelchair sporting events. He owned his own business and was quite successful. Plus, he and his supportive wife were raising five children. The list went on and on.
He kept asking me for help, but all I thought was he was so far ahead of me in accomplishments. This just reiterated how, without the power of belief, a person can still be open to, and victimized by, the negative effects of pain. All this man needed was to be reminded of his true spirit and the amazing things he had accomplished. He had already learned the lessons, but was missing the confidence and positivity necessary to keep the bad side of pain out of his life and away from his family.
I never heard from this man again, which is a shame, because I will always wonder what happened to him. I wish him the best.
I tell this to you because I feel this story exemplifies why it’s so important to actually “journey” through the Pain Cycle. The patients I’ve met, who were successful over pain, had learned to “swing the curve.” They lived through surrender, forgiveness and belief. Even though their pain or their diseases were still present, and in some cases worse, their belief in the power over it was so strong, you could see they would never turn back. It was apparent that they had found peace.
Their faces showed a fighting spirit that is necessary to put pain in the background. This is exactly how I feel. While it may always be knocking at the back door, I refuse to let negativity take over again. This is a sign of winning the battle. You must have a feeling of accomplishment, of freedom, to “take your walk” the right way.
I am not saying you will not face challenges. It is still, and always will be, a learning experience ... even for me. I think that when you stop learning you stop living. You stop growing.
“Taking your Walk” implies that you have an open mind, a willing attitude and a goal. You understand to reach that goal you must take small attainable steps. You’ve also learned how to trust and let go of the past. You see you must believe in your own power. Most importantly, you are beginning to find happiness in life.
“Taking your Walk” is a way of bringing the system of winning up a notch. It’s way of setting very lofty goals and finding a way to reach that goal. It doesn’t matter what “Take your Walk” means to you. The only thing that matters is the avenue you will head down and the path that is right for you. There are many possibilities. Maybe it is volunteering for something or possibly taking your family or friends on a major adventure. Again, how can I say what that adventure is for you? I only know what it was for me.
You may even think just returning to life is enough … and it is. Find a way to enjoy yourself again. Enjoy your work and your family, and the time now spent together. “Taking your Walk” could simply mean taking back your life, and what a tribute to conquering the war on your personal pain it would be to dedicate yourself to simply being happy. To not take anything good for granted.
I stress that it is a matter of figuring out what’s the best and most fitting path for you to take. Open your heart and look for the possibilities, for the puzzle pieces fitting together in just the right way.
All I can tell you is one thing: we need more stories about success over pain. We need more people who understand the process of putting pain in the background to stand up and be counted. This will help others get there too.
You, not pain, are truly in the driver’s seat now. Keep setting goals, keep attaining them and keep winning. Don’t stand in your own way anymore, and don’t allow anyone else to stand in your way either. You now have all the answers. Just remember: the answer lies within you.
from the book,
"Journey Through Pain: the Walk for Healing"
On May 5th, 2005, (05-05-05), Dennis Kinch set off on a Journey, walking from Boston to Washington, DC. He then decided to walk further, tackling Route 66 from Chicago to LA, to tell anyone he could about the newfound knowledge of “The Pain Cycle.”
The Pain Cycle and its subsequent teaching courses provide information to those suffering so they may become engaged and empowered. It is gathered from personal visits with thousands of professionals and patients, all of whom are stuck in the Pain Cycle.
Dennis Kinch believes there is a way out of the suffering. It may not be a 3,000-mile walk for everyone. Yet for a man who should not be walking at all, he found a way out of the Pain Cycle … and he is here to help you.
From the book...”Journey through Pain...The Walk for Healing”
Welcome to The Pain Cycle. Your journey has begun. Here you will learn the phases you must conquer in order to “swing the curve.” If you find yourself still questioning or unsure of the journey, reread what you don't understand. Make sure your mind is open to possibility. Thinking negatively, even in a subtle way, can hinder your progress. However, my guess is you want out of this crazy cycle, out of the pain paradigm. You’ll get there.
Chronic pain is pain that lasts over three months and is expected to be permanent. This, whether diagnosed or not, causes us to fall into an uncontrolled movement that begins a series of losses, eventually including the loss of self worth and even identity. Through a positive “can-do” attitude, and with the help of trained, understanding professionals, you can find the positive, reinvention side of the cycle. Thus you begin your journey out of the controlling effects of chronic pain.
It is important to remember that most likely the pain is not going away. Yet it can be tamed, as long as you have the attitude of wanting badly to control the pain, and the willingness to take on the journey through pain. This is something only you can do. “Swinging the curve” is your part of the journey. There are many people waiting to help you, but they can only help you after you have fully committed yourself to this journey. You must believe in your own power and work toward reinventing yourself to move past this life-altering interruption in your life. It’s wanting to be happy and productive again, the longing to find the true spirit of who you used to be. All of this awaits you if you have the courage to take the journey.
I pulled a wheelbarrow over 3,000 miles to prove to you, but mostly to myself, that this works. It took a lot of time for me to evolve. Part of reinvention is adapting, which is an important survival technique. I worked closely with my doctors and therapists to learn to walk correctly, to learn not to hurt myself, to learn to “do what I can, when I can.”
My goal in these walks was to become my physical therapy. It was to adopt therapy into my lifestyle: to believe in my own ability and the power to “do it right.” My goal was to do what I could when I could. I walked across America in nine months wanting to end this trek in better condition than when I started, all while dealing with constant and sometimes disabling pain.
I am not proposing that everybody start walking thousands of miles. In fact, I suggest quite the opposite. Instead, I propose that you learn to adapt to your pain, to reinvent yourself around it and find your spirit again. Once you see the positive side of the cycle, it will be up to you, and you alone, to decide what “taking a walk” means. Patients who have been successful at this now perform a variety of tasks. They are achieving lofty goals such as starting businesses, becoming volunteers and organizing support groups and patient-taught classes at local pain clinics.
I cannot say what your “walk” will be – I only hope with the help of this information as well as with education, you will be energized and inspired to begin your journey to find yourself again. My wish is for each of you to find your spirit and be happy. If you are going to put pain in its place, in the background, you need to stand up to the anguish and take your place in this world. You need to learn to enjoy life again...despite the pain.
The more goals you reach, the more powerful you will feel. I validate your pain, and so does the pain community and others. Do not dwell on trying to prove yourself to anyone; free yourself of that heavy burden. Hopefully, by reading just this much, you are seeing you can let go of some of heartache. This alone has the ability to bring back part of your old spirit. Doesn't it feel good to be back in touch with your old self, like seeing a childhood friend you haven’t seen in a long time? This is freedom. You now can see the power of belief and how it impacts you.
To repeat myself, when I say, “Take your walk,” I do not mean you must walk thousands of miles. It means you must find what works for you that makes you feel happy and whole. For me, walking was good because it made me feel better. It gave me freedom and a sense of control over my life. It allowed me to meet people, to help people and to understand myself. It allowed me to test my therapies and my resolve.
As it turned out, the walk only changed me … and that is okay. Those who didn't believe my pain or me beforehand still don’t believe. There are still no medical issues solved, and I kept being denied Social Security. It took thirteen years and over ten refusals before I finally was able to obtain Social Security. The cynics will always be cynical, the doubters will doubt, the nonbelievers cannot believe. Negative begets negative.
With all of this said, those who understood me, understand me even more now. Those who love me are very proud of me, and our love has grown stronger.
The Walk was the most unbelievable experience. I still sometimes cannot believe I walked over 3,000 miles. I did it! I set mind to something, I said yes and I did it. After crossing the desert in July of 2006, I finished my nine-month ordeal. Not once did I have a cold or flu. I had no blisters and walked only in $10 Wal-Mart sneakers. There were no muggings or car accidents. I did not encounter any snakes or angry dogs. I did not get bit or stung by animals or insects. While there were a handful of severe weather stories, there was not one major snowstorm. Out of the thousands of people I encountered, I only met amazing, supportive individuals. I truly am better than I have been in my life, and yet, my pain and condition have not changed. I beat the power and illusion of pain!
The idea of “the Walk” originated when I began working with a new physical therapist. I initially started walking to test the theories of nerve and muscle stretching and strengthening. Basically, I wanted to see if physical therapy worked. Could I take this new found therapy of walking and make it a part of my lifestyle?
I began being able to walk less than a mile but slowly built myself up to walking over seven miles a day. It was always in circles around Boston and my neighborhood on the edge of Massachusetts, near Providence, Rhode Island. I noticed that as I came near my seven-mile completion each day there was this feeling of sadness and disappointment. I felt so good yet I was ending my walk for the day. I just wanted to keep going.
Then one night as I approached my house, I decided to just keep going. I walked until 2 AM logging just over 15 miles! I was tired but still felt good. That is, until I stopped. Like a slingshot, the pain would return, intensified by the exercise. However, I felt better knowing I did it, and knowing I could do it again the next day.
My original plan for my “big walk” was to go from Boston to Colorado so I could be with my children in the summer. But I had a setback in February of that year and had to rebuild my walking ability. This time I knew how to quickly build myself up. I also had a change of heart in where I wanted to walk. Now it was Boston to Washington, D.C.
At that time in my life, I was very angry about the situation I was in. And I kept meeting people all the time who had stories of tragedy due to pain that were far worse than mine. I wanted to bring attention to their plight. I thought Washington, D.C., was within a reasonable distance to perform a big walk, while still within safe limits, so that if anything went wrong someone could come and get me.
You see how this works.
You have something you know you can do, and you take it to a far degree in your mind – as a dream or idea, even if it seems unreachable. You then back step the goal, finding small steps that are attainable.
In my case, I had to learn a lot about walking. When I first mentioned to my therapist that I was thinking of walking 400 miles to Washington, D.C., she reacted like most people, “Are you out of your mind?” Then I told her I was working with her theory. She always explained to me that if something is non-damaging pain, if I learned to do things the right way, if I took my time and did what I could when I could, I should be physically fine.
She had to agree that I was following her philosophy, but was adamant: “You take care of yourself. If there’s something you can’t do, don’t do it. If there’s something you’re doing that will cause damage, don’t do it. Don’t forget to relax more on your good days, and do just a little more than you think you can on your bad days. Always try to even out your curves.” Do what you can when you can. “If you do this, then yes, it should be okay.”
Once I had her and my doctor’s blessings, the dream seemed possible.
This is how to “take your walk”:
I can’t say what your “walk” will be. For me, it was something I was good at and was good for me. It seemed natural and necessary. It seemed like the way to combine everything I was learning, everything I needed to do as an effort to bring this to a higher level.
Once you learn to surrender, forgive and believe in yourself, you’re ready to tie it all together for a purpose. Take whatever it is that you’re good at, and “dream it” to a far extent. By now, you’ve learned to stay positive, to stop saying no, to believe in yourself and an idea that matters to you. For me, chronic pain was an issue near and dear to my heart, so it seemed fitting to go for that purpose. It fit like a glove.
People tend to perceive the walk as a lump sum. Seeing only the end result, they say, “That’s impossible.” They don’t take into account the physical and mental training it took to reach this goal. Nor do they understand that I spent five years in the negative side of the pain cycle before finding my way through the pain to the positive. My illnesses have not changed; my pain and physical limits are exactly the same.
I took the steps you will soon read about and applied them to my life. Yet each step had to be seasoned with a new attitude. It started with me resigning to surrender. I finally said, “I’m sick and tired of being like this and I will no longer accept it. I want to be my old self. I do not want others constantly telling me what to do. I’m tired of being the victim. I need to change.”
Let me be clear. This is not the attitude that it took to conquer pain, but it was the attitude I needed to begin the journey. My attitude had to adapt and change with each of the different phases I entered and went through. For forgiveness, my attitude shifted to, “Nobody knows what I’m going through, but I do. It’s okay that they don’t, and I can always explain it to them later. Right now, I have a journey to go through, and if I have to, I’ll do it alone.”
The attitude it took for belief was two-fold.
- “I know I can get through this. I’ve been in situations like this before, situations where I was in over my head, looking into the unknown, facing the fear. I did it then, and I’ll do it now.”
- “I need to stop doubting everything. I know I’m in my own way. I need the help of the medical system, but I’m not going to blindly accept what they say. I’m going to be able to believe in them because I’m going to study until I understand.”
The attitude for the rest of the journey was simple. All I kept saying to myself was, “Watch this!” By then, I was beginning to own my power, so my small seven-mile walks were feeling monotonous. I needed a grander challenge.
Preparing and tackling “the Walk” presented me with the same thing to overcome. I had my large-scale goal that I agreed upon due to changing my attitude. I set small attainable goals that I achieved by changing my attitude. I faced challenges reaching those goals that tested my attitude. I endured other hurdles and barriers that pushed me to work on my attitude even more.
I know a lot of people who don’t understand pain say to change your attitude to make it better. You probably have heard others say things like, “they just have a bad attitude.” Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not that simple. What I want you to understand is that moving forward with “your walk” has a lot to do with attitude, but it’s not everything.
I had to work on the constant attitude adjustment. In order to “take your walk,” you must learn to constantly adapt. Adapt to the bad day and good day syndrome, adapt to your medications, adapt to doing what you can when you can: adapt to changes in your healing processes and your afflictions. This is survival, but it’s also survival with style.
Life is meant to be more than just existing. It should bring with it joy and accomplishment. If you have to blend accomplishment with severe pain and depression, you won’t accomplish much or be very happy. I would never recommend that you “take your walk” if you are not ready to do so. I’ve seen people who want so badly to be out of pain that they try to find the easy answer. They rush ahead of the program and skip steps only to find out later they slipped back into the negative: the defeated.
This can be devastating on many levels, especially because it takes so much inner strength to take a journey. If you fail, or if you fool yourself into thinking you’re ready, most likely you will become bitter and won’t try it again. Defeat can be paralyzing because it has the potential to conquer your belief system, spirit and your energy. The wind will be taken from your sails.
Before you decide to “take your walk,” before you decide to take on any major challenges and set very high goals, make sure that you’re ready. Make sure you’ve understood and completed each stage in the cycle. Ask yourself:
- Am I in surrender or resignation?
- Did I forgive or just repress?
- Is my belief in my own power real, or did I talk myself into it?
Remember, these things are felt in your heart, not your head. One way to be sure you’ve made it to the positive side of the Pain Cycle is to complete a practice run. Unknowingly, I did this with my walk to D.C.
At that time, walking to Washington, D.C., was an extremely high goal for me. After all, it was 440 miles! As it turned out, thank God it was a practice run. I made a lot of mistakes yet learned many lessons from that walk that were extremely important for the second walk. In fact, it’s the very reason the second “walk” was accomplished at all, and with relative ease.
I had nothing invested during the first walk. Nobody was counting on me, so if I didn’t accomplish my goal I knew I could still go back and try again. However, on the second walk, it was completely different. The goal was much higher – walking the entire Route 66 – and so was the investment. There was a national organization involved, complete with a website, press attention, advertising and financial investments. It was a complete campaign. Many times I said to myself, “Thank God I did that first walk.”
I share this because I don’t want you to attempt your own “walk” until you really are ready. I want you to approach “taking your walk” slowly and cautiously. Just like the road, it can “do you in.”
Another thing you must consider in planning your “walk” is what suits your needs. Everyone has different afflictions, abilities, ups-and-downs and therapies that work with his or her lifestyle. In order to “take your walk,” you first must find what fits you. Then be supercharged! You must be at a point in your therapy where you’re in a position for a major challenge. Like I said before, it totally defeats the purpose to go into this and get hurt. I don’t want that for you and you don’t want that for yourself. This large goal must be the natural evolution of your therapy.
Hopefully, you practice living the “physical therapy lifestyle” for a while. You must be a master of your weapons of healing. You must be beyond validation and resignation. This endeavor could chew you up and spit you out. You must be a master of positivity – a believer of it. You must have practiced its power and have learned some control over creating a positive environment. You must have learned to ward off the negative influences that will test you. If you’ve truly reached this point of mastery, you already understand the “tests” involved. You know that anytime you make a positive change in your life’s course, you get tested.
You see, when I first set out on my trek to Washington, D.C., I was not as ready as I thought I was. I had the belief and the inspiration. However, the testing was only about to begin. I didn’t know that going into the walk. I was naïve.
I learned a lot on that 440-mile walk. By the end of it, I didn’t think I would be doing that again. I had accomplished a lot and met a lot of people, but as far as education and awareness of pain were concerned, which was my original purpose, I hadn’t accomplished anything. While elated that I finished, I was frustrated that I hadn’t made a difference. I didn’t finish what I had started; however, I was becoming very adept at some important, learned skills.
- I was in really good shape physically. Although my diseases and the pain associated with them hadn’t changed, there was good news. They hadn’t changed! Nothing worsened, and the rest of my body became very toned. In fact, my heart, lungs, blood pressure and general health seemed even better.
- My belief in accomplishing a major feat was very powerful, real and tangible to me now. This led to the belief in the next phase: healing from it all.
- Using what I knew about physical therapy, muscle groups, nerves, soft tissue and bones, I was becoming a pro at stretching and strengthening the correct way. I wasn’t hurting myself anymore, and I knew how to heal quickly. It took three weeks to go from not walking at all, to walking 4.5 miles per day. I didn’t think this was at all possible, but I had learned the major lesson ...
- I had stopped saying “No!”
It is exactly what you’re saying about the Pain Cycle. It started with surrendering, then forgiving, and then belief just came over me. It was the belief that I could do it, that I could get past the pain.
I just could not believe I found validation from people I didn’t know and who didn’t know me! They understood and were on the same page as me. They were also “taking their walks” but in different ways. They were accomplishing dreams that, not too long before, had seemed unattainable. This was exactly what I had hoped for: the proof was in the pudding.
While taking your walk meant the same to them as it did to me, we had different agendas. This is not to say mine was better or theirs were better. We all were reaching for OUR dream. Each of us had learned the power it takes to set goals and attain them.
One young woman was going back to school after 11 years of fighting a major nerve disease. She was going to study pain medicine and get her doctorate. She beamed with joy, and freedom, no longer burdened with negativity. She had gained her power over pain! She was unstoppable.
Another had taken up a fine art craft that she hadn’t performed in many years. A craft she never thought she would be able to do again. That is before she learned to adapt to her disabilities. She told me the greatest thing she had learned however, was to believe in her power over pain. She was, and is, unstoppable. Today, she is holding fine-craft exhibits to sell her work and she gives the money to charity. Plus, she has become a major pain advocate in her hometown … another leader in the army of proper pain treatment advocates!
Another man I met, a major pain sufferer, and his wife – also a person with pain – began walking every day. They started with one block, then a quarter-mile, then a mile. And believe me, for this couple this was a miracle! Not only was it a triumph to walk with pain but they also faced terrible financial news. Yet learning the power of being positive, they approached their current situation the attitude of, “I know we lost a car but we are here and we know we can walk where we need to go.”
Instead of fighting about financial matters, they take many walks together, which has made them an even stronger couple. They feel a renewed sense of love and friendship. Together, they are unstoppable … and they also are an inspiration to me. Yes, God is truly magnificent!
Another man I met is the embodiment of adapting to a situation rather than falling into deep depression. After losing his legs to amputation and rehabilitating to his wheelchair, he became bored from monotony. He left his safe, secure Massachusetts existence and took his dog and some packs to traverse America in his wheelchair. His dream was to be with his dog on the road. He did this for himself – he had no support, no one to write about it and no one ever even knew about it. I was in awe of the amazing power he had of just wanting to get out of the vicious cycle of disability! He did what made him feel powerful and happy.
Now, the opposite side of that coin is the paraplegic gentleman I met who was paralyzed from the waist down, who talked to me about how his life was without merit. He told me how pain was overwhelming him, how he was worthless and insignificant and stuck in his wheelchair. It was affecting the man and his family terribly.
Yet as I talked to him more, I learned the man had accomplished some amazing things in his life. He was heavily involved in volunteer efforts that set up national wheelchair sporting events. He owned his own business and was quite successful. Plus, he and his supportive wife were raising five children. The list went on and on.
He kept asking me for help, but all I thought was he was so far ahead of me in accomplishments. This just reiterated how, without the power of belief, a person can still be open to, and victimized by, the negative effects of pain. All this man needed was to be reminded of his true spirit and the amazing things he had accomplished. He had already learned the lessons, but was missing the confidence and positivity necessary to keep the bad side of pain out of his life and away from his family.
I never heard from this man again, which is a shame, because I will always wonder what happened to him. I wish him the best.
I tell this to you because I feel this story exemplifies why it’s so important to actually “journey” through the Pain Cycle. The patients I’ve met, who were successful over pain, had learned to “swing the curve.” They lived through surrender, forgiveness and belief. Even though their pain or their diseases were still present, and in some cases worse, their belief in the power over it was so strong, you could see they would never turn back. It was apparent that they had found peace.
Their faces showed a fighting spirit that is necessary to put pain in the background. This is exactly how I feel. While it may always be knocking at the back door, I refuse to let negativity take over again. This is a sign of winning the battle. You must have a feeling of accomplishment, of freedom, to “take your walk” the right way.
I am not saying you will not face challenges. It is still, and always will be, a learning experience ... even for me. I think that when you stop learning you stop living. You stop growing.
“Taking your Walk” implies that you have an open mind, a willing attitude and a goal. You understand to reach that goal you must take small attainable steps. You’ve also learned how to trust and let go of the past. You see you must believe in your own power. Most importantly, you are beginning to find happiness in life.
“Taking your Walk” is a way of bringing the system of winning up a notch. It’s way of setting very lofty goals and finding a way to reach that goal. It doesn’t matter what “Take your Walk” means to you. The only thing that matters is the avenue you will head down and the path that is right for you. There are many possibilities. Maybe it is volunteering for something or possibly taking your family or friends on a major adventure. Again, how can I say what that adventure is for you? I only know what it was for me.
You may even think just returning to life is enough … and it is. Find a way to enjoy yourself again. Enjoy your work and your family, and the time now spent together. “Taking your Walk” could simply mean taking back your life, and what a tribute to conquering the war on your personal pain it would be to dedicate yourself to simply being happy. To not take anything good for granted.
I stress that it is a matter of figuring out what’s the best and most fitting path for you to take. Open your heart and look for the possibilities, for the puzzle pieces fitting together in just the right way.
All I can tell you is one thing: we need more stories about success over pain. We need more people who understand the process of putting pain in the background to stand up and be counted. This will help others get there too.
You, not pain, are truly in the driver’s seat now. Keep setting goals, keep attaining them and keep winning. Don’t stand in your own way anymore, and don’t allow anyone else to stand in your way either. You now have all the answers. Just remember: the answer lies within you.