the PainPal
The PainPal is a quick reference brochure of things to remember about pain. This pamphlet helps keep you on track with reminders designed so you can quickly read them and keep yourself thinking the right things to lessen pain.
Write to me and I can send you a printable version of this to keep with you and look at whenever you have a moment free. It trains your mind to think "above" the pain.
Chronic Pain, Quick list
The Pain Cycle stages are:
"Negative" - The negative side is filled with loss. These losses are a natural effect of constant and chronic pain. Loss of Social activities. Loss of job, finances, security, family and friends, and eventually, self-identity. Loss is always and naturally accompanied by grief. So it stands to reason that if we do nothing to deal with the grief, or to deal with the stages of grief, we will be forever stuck in one of the stages. Each stage of Loss on the chart has its own road, a “road to despair”, mild, then deeper and deeper depressions which have a very tragic and untimely end.
"Swinging the Curve" - 3 Steps to making the turn to the positive side. -This implies, not dealing with the phases of loss and grief, but, readying you to deal with them. This is like putting on a suit of armor and getting ready for battle.
"Positive" - Re-Invention - The thing that makes everything else work. When you understand this, you're ready to accept your new weapons; you're ready to begin the journey. If you read no other chapters in the book “Journey through Pain, the Walk for Healing”, read the chapter on Belief. When you really understand this you will become unstoppable. No one will ever again be able to dent your armor. Your life will again be yours and will be happy and productive. You'll find your true spirit again and you, like me, will take your walk.
- Keep pain only to affected areas. Ex: if pain is in your legs, don't let it affect your arms, or head, or back. Try to imagine the outer edges of your pain closing in to a smaller circle.
- Keep a daily log of pain level, 1-10 scale, 10 is the worst pain you've ever had in your life and add some comments. The more you add to this the better you can help yourself later. Being able to accurately look back is very important.
Once a month draw a graph or chart to see the actual curves of your pain. I did this for a year, and I do it every time something changes, like a med or therapy or external. Once I got it I didn't need to do this anymore. You'll see. - Try to take your emotions out of the process. Fear, worry, doubt, sadness, anger, etc. Approach it clinically. -OR- change the name of the emotion; ex: worry=concern, fear=caution, sadness=contemplation, etc.
- “Do what you can, when you can.” ex: if pain is your legs, do what you can with your arms, upper body, etc., Stay flexible. If you are having a good day, do less, or a bad day, do more than you think you can. This will smooth out the sharp curves of pain.
- Learn about your pain, your disease or injury. Knowledge is the key to fear! The more you kow and understand, the less you are afraid or worried. Learn how to learn, to spot the real from the fraudulent.
- Learn the difference between damaging and non-damaging pain. Talk to a doctor or physical therapist about this. It is extremely important but is very unique to you and to your disease. Knowing this has allowed me 10 extra physical years, so far.
- Do not look for sympathy from your friends and family. Especially your kids! All those who love you are as afraid, upset and worried as you are. They do not want to see you hurt. Be strong. Don't deny your children their childhood. Don't deny your friends and family their loved one. When you find someone who sympathizes with you, keep them around; they are rare.
- Be Positive! All the time. Learn to spot negatives, in yourself and others. Learn to change the things you think, into positives. Learn to switch the words you think, for example; think "bad, switch to bothersome". Think, "excruciating, switch to pretty painful", etc.
I have learned to "tag" or add to the end of a negative thought or sentence the words, "Stop it!" If I think this right away, then forget about it, the negative thought has no effect on me. It works, especially when someone else is saying the negative stuff!
- Understand, you are now in the stages of Grief. This is extremely important. In grief, if you don't move through the stages, and get stuck in one, you will enter a much more serious depression, which will affect the rest
of your life. Remember, pain affects physical, mental, emotional and spiritual and they are all interconnected. The grief from pain has phases which will ebb and flow your whole life. Youmust learn to recognize them and work to move to next phase.
- Denial -
“I'm OK, this will go away.” or “This can't be happening.” or “That doctor doesn't know what he's talking about.” or
“I'm not mad...damnit! ”
- Anger – at the disease or injury, at the pain, at people, at yourself, at God. Learn to spot when anger is rising up, count to 10, put it aside for now.
- Bargaining / confusion - “If I just do this, then maybe...," "I need to make a decision but which one?", "How will I ever deal with this?", "What happened to the “me” I used to be?", "Where did all the money go?...” Sound familiar?
- Acceptance - You can't get help or enjoy any quality of life until you get to this stage. Surrender means “stop swimming upstream and go with the flow.” It means accepting your situation, then you can adapt to it, which is the key to survival. In the Pain Cycle, this is the "Swinging the Curve" part. It is the key intersection to the rest of your life.
- Depression - like not wanting to be around people, feeling sad or sorry for yourself, Loneliness, blue, quick to anger, staying in bed, no motivation, unable to make decisions, lethargic, fatigue, using "escapist" means to try to forget, like alcohol, drugs, etc... many more, look this up. It is your "other" choice at the intersection. It's easy to see which way others chose but hard to see it in ourselves, so rely on a good friend's critique.
The Pain Cycle stages are:
"Negative" - The negative side is filled with loss. These losses are a natural effect of constant and chronic pain. Loss of Social activities. Loss of job, finances, security, family and friends, and eventually, self-identity. Loss is always and naturally accompanied by grief. So it stands to reason that if we do nothing to deal with the grief, or to deal with the stages of grief, we will be forever stuck in one of the stages. Each stage of Loss on the chart has its own road, a “road to despair”, mild, then deeper and deeper depressions which have a very tragic and untimely end.
"Swinging the Curve" - 3 Steps to making the turn to the positive side. -This implies, not dealing with the phases of loss and grief, but, readying you to deal with them. This is like putting on a suit of armor and getting ready for battle.
- Surrender should not be thought of as giving up. We must never give up. It should not be thought of as accepting that it's okay that bad things have happened to you. It's not OK. It is accepting your new limits, your good day/ bad day cycles, your damaging/non-damaging pain. It is learning to love yourself despite the disease and limits and to call on your "old spirit" to kick in.
- Forgiveness is another important attitude to adopt. As in Surrender, Forgiveness does not mean naively approaching your past and allowing your mind to think that it's okay that these things happened. It's not. But neither is dwelling. Think this phrase "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." Usually, very true, - including yourself!
- Belief. It is the single strongest energy in the universe. The one thing no one can stop, except you. Once you learn how to do this correctly, your whole life will change. You will be living the answer!
"Positive" - Re-Invention - The thing that makes everything else work. When you understand this, you're ready to accept your new weapons; you're ready to begin the journey. If you read no other chapters in the book “Journey through Pain, the Walk for Healing”, read the chapter on Belief. When you really understand this you will become unstoppable. No one will ever again be able to dent your armor. Your life will again be yours and will be happy and productive. You'll find your true spirit again and you, like me, will take your walk.